Breaking up is hard to do

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I made a huge decision about four weeks ago. It has actually changed my life a little bit more than I imagined. I decided to distance myself from someone who I was relying on for gratification and validation. Someone who knew everything about me, yet nothing about me. Someone who knew how I felt, what I ate, where I was, who I was with, what I was watching…..sounds stalker-like. I stepped away from them because I was starting to get obsessed. Our relationship was ruining not only my life, but my well-being. Yes, I broke up with Facebook.

Now, before I continue I have to admit. It hasn’t been a full break. I still like to read what’s going on in my town, in the world, with faraway friends. I post a photo every now and then—-like when I picked up my son on his last day of freshman year of college(one status that day). But, I have not commented on others’ walls or even just updated my status every. single. hour. There were many things that contributed to this break-up. I admit some of these are trivial, but some, while trivial on the surface, are major issues upon deeper inspection. Also, some sound heartless, which isn’t the way I mean them to be. I am a caring person with a huge heart, but sometimes people beat a dead horse ALL THE TIME.

1. I got sick and tired of hearing about sick and tired people and kids—enough already!!

2. People and their exercise programs. OK….you go to the gym every day. Got it.

3. Food photos. Yes, I admit I did this, but luckily I eat well and have a great chef for a husband—-most people don’t. Plus, I’m a vegetarian and quite frankly all the meaty photos make me a bit queasy in the stomach.

4. People who use Facebook for some weird validation. If the only way you can feel good about something is to see how many people click the “like” button on a social media page, I feel bad for you. Yes, this was me. I admit it fully. I would wonder how many likes I could get for something I said or did…would “so and so” like it?  Facebook has become like high school. There are clicks, people who don’t like your stuff on purpose, but like everything others do. It’s so juvenile, it’s ridiculous. 

5. Family and friends that were more active and interested in what my ex-husband does than me, their “blood” relative. This one infuriates me. When I divorced my ex-husband four years ago, that tie should have been mostly severed. Yes, they were part of his life for 17 years, and it’s ok to keep in minimal contact, but actually talking and taking more interest in his life than mine and my children. Not right. If the shoe was on the other foot with some of their exes, it would be different.

6. Distraction. Plain and simple. I was too caught up in what was going on with Facebook than what was happening in my own life. I was not writing my creative stuff anymore, I was writing statuses. 

7. Poor me people. Yes, life is difficult, we all know that. We all go through it. But, some things are just better left offline. Some rants and raves are personal. But, some people crave this attention and sympathy that only perpetuates and validates them. 

8. Show-offs. Yes, your dance hall/hotel sized pool is fabulous. Your trips to somewhere tropic every single month look relaxing. But, have some tact about it. Which brings me to—-

9. Tactless, bitchy people. Some people air things on Facebook that makes them sound like spoiled brats and bullies. Which they are, but putting down others and belittling their opinions is so high school. Are we not adults, trying to show kids that bullying is wrong. 

10. This list could go on for days and days and days and…

Now, I admit that at one time or another I’ve done all of these. Mea culpa. But, I acknowledged this and took action. I took back my life. I am not looking to get flamed for my opinions. Facebook may be fun for some people. It’s a great tool to socialize, get news out, meet people, stay in contact with long-lost friends and family. Heck, if it wasn’t for Facebook, I wouldn’t have found my husband again after 24 years apart. But, some people go overboard. Some people live on Facebook. I wanted to make a decision and live in the real world.

Like I said, I’m still there once in a while. I like to chat with old friends, my son at college, look at photos from around the world, read blog posts, etc. But, I’ve cut my time by 80%. I find my validation inside myself. I’m writing this blog every day. I’m writing poetry, working on my novel, and a children’s book. Social media is a wonderful addition to the world. I’m not bashing. I just merely needed to distance myself. Now, where is that camera? My dog just looked adorable and I need to post on Instagram.

Baby steps. 

 

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