Fluidity

Standard

water-880462_1920

 

 

I went to the water to find peace–

somewhere in the waves,

where the sun fades and the noise becomes hollow.

 

I went to the water to find resilience–

like the aqua liquidity bending and shaping

to whatever it encounters.

 

I went to the water to find a sense of permanence–

like the lasting effect of years upon years of continuous movement,

that leaves its mark on all it touches.

 

I went to the water to find something, anything–

grasping for something concrete to hold onto

or finally letting go forever.

 

I went to the water to find comfort—

but in between the droplets, I found myself.

 

Advertisements

Contradiction

Standard

I sit in isolation-

(surrounded by the masses)-

desperately looking for companionship-

(exhausted by  the interaction).

 

 

An imitation of a person.

Passionate, yet apathetic.

Loving, yet spiteful.

 

Tedious days melt into dark nights

and I’m a remnant of who I once was.

 

 

 

 

Coyotes

Standard

Re-sharing this one for National Poetry Month..

 

Coyotes

I believe they are called “coyotes”
those smugglers that go over the border to bring people into America.
I wonder if I could hire one?
someone to sneak across my borders.
searching for pieces of me left behind–
broken bits and jagged edge slivers—
hidden for years under miles of dust, debris, and baggage.
bringing them back to me to recreate myself
into some collage, some abstract mosaic of broken glass…
rearranging them into some Pollock-like masterpiece
that when you turn it in just such a way…
it bares resemblance to a human being.

Steel Blue

Standard

I still catch a glimpse of her sometimes….

behind the steel blue cage.

The girl I once was

staring back at the woman she never thought she’d become.

A woman who lost her hopes and dreams

in a black, murky sea.

Carrying too much baggage in her heart

and in her skin.

Weighed down as she tried to swim to shore,

tried to escape the grasping tides.

That girl looks sad and lost,

wanting to see the world again-

wanting to see herself again.

Instead, the stranger stares back and once again

she loses hope of ever escaping.

Battle Scars

Standard

My complete lack of self-esteem.

My insecurity in relationships and in myself.

My inability to trust.

My black and white thinking.

My sadness inside my happiness.

The pit in my soul that is never filled.

My hatred of mirrors.

My second guessing of everything and everyone—-

I didn’t choose these things.

They made me. They envelope me.

They consume me.

I camouflage them in smiles and nice things,

hoping no one will notice the bumps and bruises.

But where do they end and I begin?

The Monster I Know

Standard

He lies in wait for me every day

looking for that perfect chance to attack.

Waiting

Ready to strike at the

first sign of weakness.

I try to fight.

I see him coming from the corner of my eye-

his yellow eyes

with nothing behind them

void of love, of feeling, of happiness.

I try to run, I try to fight-

flailing my arms, screaming at the top of my lungs,

hoping someone will hear

someone will help.

But, he’s my enemy-

mine and mine alone.

With one full swoop of his claws,

grip tightening around my throat,

fear in every cell of my body,

he has me.

I am his.

I am defeated.

My world goes dark.